Remembering Those We Have Lost

 

As we take time today to honor those we lost on September 11, 2001, I have been thinking about how grief affects everyone in a different way. And as a writer, I naturally turn to my writing to help me work through my grief.

 

In an article I wrote on Medium called “Writing to Remember,” I talk about how I have written songs and poems to remember those we have lost. I have written poems in memory of people I did not even know.

 

It’s not just poems and songs I have written in memory of people who have passed away, though. Sometime after my mother passed away, I was inspired to write a children’s book called Wolf Whispers. In this story, a young character loses her mother, and she discovers a wolf who comforts her during her time of grief.

 

I also wrote a collection of poems about grief. The book is called Poems for the Grieving Heart and all of the poems are written objectively because they are meant for the person experiencing grief. These poems are meant to provide comfort and the book was dedicated to my aunt and uncle, who lost their son in a car accident.

 

As far as poems remembering those I knew who have passed away, I am also writing another collection of poetry with these kinds of poems. However, this collection also contains poems written in memory of people lost who I did not know. (It is still a work in progress.)

 

As far as 9/11 goes, I did write a poem in memory of the lives lost that day. The poem is called “They Were Our Neighbors” and it was read at a ceremony in New York when a bench was dedicated to the memory of those lost. You can read more about what other kind of influence this poem had on a reader here.

 

If you feel compelled to write something after experiencing loss, then take the time to put to use your talent with words in a way that helps you with your grief. Some people even find comfort in writing in a journal after they have lost a loved one.

 

Grief has a very strong effect on people, but for writers, we may feel compelled to write something to honor someone who passed away. Or we write it in their memory or as a tribute to them. (I have read some very beautiful tributes written for lost loved ones on Facebook.) Writing through our grief can be very therapeutic and help us to cope with the pain of loss. Sometimes it can be hard to share with others the pain we are feeling because of grief, but when we turn to our writing, we end up finding the right words to say.

Thank you, Girl Scout Troop #2056!

In August, I received an email from a girl named Lilly who is a member of a Girl Scout troop. Her troop was doing a special project as part of trying to win a Silver Award. Their project was dedicating two park benches in a local park as part of the 10th anniversary of September 11th. They were dedicating two park benches and their theme was "Sit and Reflect." They wanted to do something special for this occasion.

Lilly contacted me because she found my 9/11 poem, "They Were Our Neighbors," on the Internet and she and her troop really liked the poem. They asked for permission to put my poem on a bookmark they would hand out to people at the dedication ceremony on September 11, 2011. Of course, I said yes, and as a former Girl Scout myself, I commended her and her troop for their efforts to do something special for their community. I thought their idea was fantastic and let them know I was cheering them on.

Later, I received an update email about their progress. They were having fun creating the bookmarks and attached photos of the occasion. It was so awesome to see their idea coming together for them! And, I felt really honored to be a part of something so special.

I just received the bookmarks in the mail and I was taken aback by how beautiful they turned out. I had tears in my eyes as I read both Lilly's and her mother's letters about the ceremony. The Poet Laureate Mary Louise Cox attended the ceremony and she asked the crowd in attendance if I was among them. (Sadly, I could not make it out there.) Lilly told me that Ms. Cox commented on the poem, saying she liked it. "Ms. Cox said to please tell you that from one poet to another she thinks your poem is beautiful!!"

I was so touched by this experience. Lilly even sent along an online printing of the article that was written about this occasion, along with photos. This has to be probably the biggest focal point in my experiences writing poetry. This is a really big deal for me and I am so grateful that a poem I posted on the Internet in 2003 turned out to be something that touched the hearts and lives of so many.

They sent me some of the bookmarks; they ran out of all of the rest at the ceremony! I hope they will be able to create more because my daughter wants to give some to her teacher and friends.

Thank you, Girl Scout Troop #2056, for doing such a generous and meaningful project for your community. Thank you for using my poem for your bookmarks. And thank you for doing something so special in honor of those who were lost on that day. Congratulations on winning the Silver Award. Many blessings and lots of cheers to you all!!!

Writing and not writing on 9/11

I noticed something a little unusual about my email account today: There weren't that many new emails today. And I sniled at the possibility that maybe it was because all the people I usually get emails from practically every day were taking a break in honor of what today is. Perhaps they were stepping back to take the time to reflect on 9/11/01, and to remember those who were lost on that day.

The thing that I do as far as commemorating something or honring something goes, is I write about it. I write a poem in honor of the occasion, or I write a blog post or an essay. This was not how it went for 9/11. For a long time after the attacks, I was too numb and shocked to write about it. I know of other writers who were the same way. One writer was so depressed for several months, she couldn't write a word.

But writers are writers at heart. They are writers of the soul. After some time to heal wounds or find closure, there will once again be that ability to write. To honor the memories of someone through the written word.

But I, too, took a break from the "norms" of today. I spent extra time with my children. Instead of working on my books, I wrote about 9/11. I composed a poem and have blog postings about it.

In a way, we're still "taking a break" from our usual rush of the day when we just step down for a moment to reflect and pray. And we are also being true to our desire to express how we feel as far as 9/11 is concerned.

They say that life goes on. Well, so does the writing, but in its own time.