Dawn Colclasure's Blog

Author and poet Dawn Colclasure

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Top 10 signs you're in the zone during novel revisions

1. You accidentally call people by your characters' names.

2. You stumble around the house at odd hours of the night, while everybody is asleep, sleepily mumbling a jumble of words.

3. You get up in the morning, write, start up the coffee, write, get the kids up for school, write....

4. Post-It notes and scraps of paper with scene ideas and notes are scattered all over your desk.

5. You keep misspelling words while you type.

6. Two words: Writer's cramp.

7. You try to have a COHERENT conversation with people, but anything that doesn't involve writing or your story leaves you confusedly mumbling.

8. You wake up in the morning and wonder why you're in the wrong room and a certain someone isn't with you (or why they ARE!), until you remember that's in your story and not real life.

9. You wonder why the computer stops working and the lights won't come on, until you FINALLY remember the electric bill that you forgot to pay.

10. You put off writing OTHER things, like a certain "top 10" list.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

A moment to shine

It has been over two years since I started up an E-zine. I mainly started it as a way of promoting my book, BURNING THE MIDNIGHT OIL: How We Survive as Writing Parents. Then, it grew into something bigger. (Don't ALL projects??) It became "my E-zine." A way to get more stuff out there to other writers. A way to read and share great writing from others who submitted. A way to network and "spread the word" on new books, new sites, new projects.

After a while, though, the workload involved in getting this E-zine put together was a heck of a lot more than I could withstand. I know of some E-zine editors/publishers who have outsourced the work to those willing to keep their E-zines going strong. I have thought of doing this, too. But, I don't have the finances to pay for help. And, I really don't know of a way to make it all "work." I have also considered making the E-zine "available" to someone else willing to carry it on, but I do so love being a part of it, I don't think I could give it up.

I have received very positive and encouraging feedback from readers. And when I've shared the link to it with others, they'd say things like "looks good" or "I enjoyed reading your newsletter." These things were really motivating and encouraging for me, but I still had too much stress over spending HOURS working on putting it together and all that. (I guess it doesn't help I do all my computer work typing with my ONE good hand!)

Now something else has happened that has made me even more hesitant to give this E-zine up, or even suspend it: The new writer who has gotten published here and can count this as their very first paying gig.

In the recent issue, I bought an essay from Donna Piazza, a writer starting her writing career late in life. When I asked for her address so I could mail her a check, she E-mailed me and wrote such a touching E-mail of how this was her first sale. I cannot even put into words the glow I felt within as I read her note. It was so moving. I know what it's like to sell that very first poem, article or essay. (Actually, mine was an article.) I know just how special and validating that kind of experience is for a writer.

And now I have been responsible for giving someone this wonderful moment to shine. I am the one to make some new writer's day, to help lift their spirits and allow them to feel that they are actually a GOOD ENOUGH writer to be paid for what they wrote.

It's truly a beautiful moment for me.

And because of this, my E-zine will continue. If I manage to get some help set up, great. But if not, that's ok, too. The E-zine will go on, no matter how much time I put into getting it together every month. And even if it doesn't bring in any money for me, so what? The rewards I am getting from publishing it are far more valuable than any amount of money could ever be.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

I caved

Because I'm doing NaNoWriMo this year, I pretty much decided I was going to put the sole focus of my energies into working on my NaNo book. This is why I tried to finish up the novel revisions for a publisher in time.

That didn't happen.

OK. No problem. I'll just work on that AND my NaNoWriMo book. No sweat.

So I went about this task of working on two books at once, the first draft of one novel and the hopefully FINAL draft of another novel. (Usually, I'll work on a novel and a nonfiction book or poetry book when I'm juggling book projects. Things can get a little...difficult when working on two novels at once.)

Then I get an email from the director of SIGNews, asking me if I would take on two assignments due in 3 days and two MORE assignments due in 10 days.

At this point, given that I hadn't been paid yet for two OTHER articles I've done for them, I was ready to respond with the very professional, "Bite me!" But...I didn't do that. LOL I just told him I couldn't take on more assignments since I hadn't been paid for the other work yet. He wrote back ASSURING me that payment was already authorized and the check will be in the mail next week. I mulled over this, taking a GOOD long look at my situation. Let's see: I'm a divorced mom struggling to make ends meet. And I was turning down work??

Something was wrong with this picture.

So I wrote back and told him I'll do it. Give me those four assignments! Bring it on! NaNoWriMo be damned!

Well, not exactly. I'm still working on that book. And the OTHER book. But lately I've just been a little too preoccupied in meeting my pressing deadlines, as well.

Where DID I put that "watch me crack!" stamp??

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Sex with my friends

A fellow writer is helping me out with a scene in my novel that I'm doing edits/revisions on. My antagonist in this book is named Frank and she commented how it reminded her of a fellow writer we both know named Frank Baron (this guy: http://www.frankbaron.com/index.htm ).

I not only agreed with her on that part but...I didn't mention that there USED to be a scene in this book where my character, Frank, has sex with the protagonist, Laura.

And I had to write ALL of that. Every time I saw the name Frank, it reminded me of our friend.

And, uh...I DO NOT think of Frank that way!! Seriously! I don't!

I wrote out that scene thinking, "It's only a story. Get it over with. It's only a story." Thankfully, that scene got axed. Whew!

But...it reminds me of just how hard it is to write fiction and KNOW other writers, both of fiction and, uh, semi-fiction.

Another friend, Ray Wong ( http://www.raymondwong.com/ ), wrote the novel The Pacific Between, a book I LOVED! There is one scene in there where...it's ALMOST sexual. But, not quite. All the same, I was covering my eyes and thinking, 'OK. This isn't Ray. This is..his character. Yeah! His CHARACTER! Not Ray. No, that's NOT Ray!!'

It's kinda funny but I actually struggle with those kinds of things. Maybe from now on I'll be sure to give my characters names of people I DON'T know!! (FYI: I named my character "Frank" long before I actually "met" Frank via the Internet. I just never changed the name. Stranger still: My protagonist's name is Laura. And! Drumroll, please: The writer helping me is ALSO named Laura. LOL She even joked, "Thanks for warning me about Frank." LOL!!!)

Well, I MAY have a character named Liam in my NaNo book....but, FORTUNATELY, there is NO SEX in this one. Not even physical intimacy. Not even HUGGING, fer crying out loud! Nothing AT ALL. Which is a good thing. I really don't want Liam Jackson's wife to start sending me hate mail. *ducks*
(Liam's site: http://liamjackson.com/index.html )

Sunday, November 12, 2006


In my NaNoWriMo story, "SOS" means something different to my character and her close friends.

Today, I had my own episode of "SOS" -- the traditional kind.

I have a black tie event coming up in my story. I have NEVER attended such an event in my life. And...I'm not as fashionably conscious as my character is.

To sum up, I had to find some tuxes and NICE men's suits to include in the story. I also had to figure out just HOW I was going to describe them so that my readers can get a good idea of the EXACT kinds of suits my characters were wearing. (My ex said I should just write "black tux" or "black suit" and be done with it. According to him, if people have seen ONE suit, they have seen them all. But since I'm writing a fictional story and I want my readers to have a better idea of what the suits looked like aside from their color, I knew I couldn't do that. Besides, my character has a sharp eye with ALL styles of clothing, so she would actually have more to say about a guy's suit than that.)

My sister's partner, Allison, came to my rescue on the first part. We chatted online today and she sent me a bunch of pictures of formal wear for both men and women. I liked one suit she sent (and, actually, the guy wearing it was pretty hot, too -- haha) and I also picked out a dress for my character to wear. I had also visited sites and came across another suit that I KNEW my character would plead with her date to wear to the event: http://www.germes-online.com/catalog/69/225/page2/101463/tuxedo_dinner_suit_formal_wear.html

So, THAT problem got solved. Yay! Now for the second one. I....don't know that much about men's suits. What the pieces of the suit are called. And...reading certain descriptions just got me all the more confused.

I asked two other men I normally chat with for input on that, but neither of them were able to help me out.


So, I did what any good writer should do: I paid a visit to the Absolute Write Water Cooler and posted a thread about it in the Writing Novels forum.

And, ahh, somebody posted a link to a Wikipedia page and it pretty much covers the names of the suit pieces on there.

Here's the link to my post: http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=46285

Oh, and Allison also gave me more popular band names to include in my story. And, after hearing bits and pieces of what the story is about, she came up with a GREAT idea! Something that just MAY build up some buzz for this book.

More on that later. ;)

Saturday, November 11, 2006

That was the name of an ALBUM, not a band!

Once you get into that zone with writing your story, everything else sort of fades away, doesn't it? All your cares disappear. All the responsibilities come second. All the worries are gone.

Well. Sort of, with that last part.

I am TRYING to stay focused on just WRITING my story. Really, I am. But as I write it, I can already hear readers complaing. "Doesn't your character drink anything else BESIDES ginger ale?" "Why in the world won't your character ever wear jeans?" And even "I could NEVER "zip" through a phone book to find an old college sweetheart; what makes you think I'll believe your character can?"

Oh, and here's another one. One character, a male, lives in a studio apartment and SORT OF looks like someone I used to know. Who lived in a studio apartment. I could just see him now after reading the introductory scene with this character: "This is ME, isn't it?"

I know, it's too early to start worrying about stuff like that. I just need to WRITE THE STORY. Not freak out over it while I am TRYING to write it. *sigh* But, I still get those nagging feelings.

I just have to keep telling myself this is JUST the first draft. I can go back and make changes later.

So, anyway. I had thought there wasn't going to be too much research involved with this book. But since fashion is BIG with this story, I'm constantly visiting Web sites, studying newspaper advertisements and paging through magazines to find the hottest in fashion for my fashion-minded characters to wear. I am also hunting down popular and up-and-coming bands and musicians because some chapters list a song my character is listening to (these are the blog parts) and...well, I'm not really clued in on the music scene. I was actually trying to hunt down Web sites to get info on what bands and musicians are REALLY popular right now. I couldn't really FIND one, though. I KNOW. I live next door to a band. LOL I'll be including them, once I can get over there and ask them for some song titles. And, yeah, I have a MySpace, which I have been using (on one hand) to study up on bands and musicians out there and learn EVERYTHING I can about them. That is a resource, too. I could NOT get the billboard.com site to work for me today. Ugh. And I put out a bulletin on MySpace for some band and musician suggestions, but no response on that yet.

Sooo, I was chatting with someone online today, and I asked HIM for some suggestions. He fired off a bunch of bands and singers EVERYBODY is listening to. Enough for me to cover most of my planned chapters, at least. (Thanks, Angel!!) So, that worked out pretty well, too. At one point, I asked him about one...."band" I think it was. I THOUGHT it was a band, but I looked it up on IMDB.com and saw it was actually a soundtrack album. He had a good laugh over that misunderstanding. Oops.

I am getting a ride to the store tomorrow so I'll be sure to hit the music section and check out a bunch of CDs so I can get some more song titles to include.

Friday, November 10, 2006


I promised myself that while I was working on my NaNoWriMo book, I wasn't going to let other stuff distract me. "Other stuff" being certain Web sites and certain book projects, certain articles I have to write/type/edit, and miscellaneous projects. But that "other stuff" has definitely been distracting me lately, and I've REALLY gotta get a handle on it. I have 20 days left to finish my book.

And...five more days until my self-imposed deadline for the novel revisions. (I am hapopy to announce I no longer need to do research for THAT one. Yay!!)

But, yesterday, something else distracted me: Bad news on the family front. It just REALLY stressed me out, and I couldn't write. At all.

But, I am hoping to get back into the swing of things. As of tonight, in fact. Get my 5,000 words before the week is out, at least. Then I'm pulling an all-nighter since I have only ONE free night all to myself this weekend. I am going to take advantage of that and spend it writing my bum off! I can always sleep later...like after the month is over with. Hah!

And, pretty much steer clear of those blasted distractions. But at least I'm getting more manuscripts sent out.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Unconditional love

No update yesterday. It's the same story: I was still grumbling over my character. Still didn't like her. Still didn't accept her. I DID write more in my book, but I also turned to other books in this genre, hoping some of the "common characters" in these books would help me find some REASON to just accept my character and write her story. Well, naturally, that's not what happened. But I DID find some more books to add to my wish list! :)

So, I just decided...you know, I'm not going to complain about this character anymore. I am NOT going to get all caught up in how BAD she is. I am just going to write this story, and that's that. Of course, as I wrote yesterday with this new feeling in mind, I started to feel like some kind of drone. Like I was just this...robot doing what I was ordered to do, and I couldn't FEEL anything.

That didn't happen today.

Today, it was like....now that I have TOTALLY and COMPLETELY accepted this character the way she is, this story has truly come "alive." I didn't feel like some drone as I typed my heart out today. I was actually SEEING this story play out in my mind! I actually had to type faster (typos and all) just to keep up with everybody doing their thing.

And, the better part of it is, I finished a chapter that has REALLY been dragging all week. I was really excited about that!

Of course, I got frustrated in between all that. My daughter kept pulling me away and asking me questions and asking me to play with her while I was writing. I didn't let myself get frustrated, though. I just kept at it! I told myself, 'If William Peter Blatty was able to write The Exorcist with a bunch of kids running around his tiny apartment, screaming, I can write this book with just ONE child distracting me!' (Gee, and I wonder how he got the idea for his book. LOL j/k) That actually kept me going.

But that is not the best part. Even when I finished the chapter, I had another and another coming at me. So, when I had to step away from my computer, I was in my story, not "here." I even ended up walking around in circles in my kitchen, very deep in thought as everything just kept coming together. The WHOLE STORY was finally taking shape!! I was so caught up, it was a while before I noticed my dog standing there in the kitchen entryway, playfully wagging his tail. Haha. I had NO IDEA what he was hoping for....

And even later on, when my daughter asked if she could have another piece of candy, I was soooo deep in thought, that I said, "No, Jen. You already had a lollipop. Just wait until we have....whatchamacallit. Dinner."

Ahh, you can tell Dawn is hard at work on a book when she gets so deep into the zone, she forgets the name of a mealtime. But, you know, it paid off in the end. I now have 14 chapters all planned out and ready to write. Yay!

At least I'm not so deep in the zone I can't come up with more book ideas, which I did tonight, in fact.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Taking a cue from real life

I didn't post my update here last night because I had put it off. I made it the LAST thing I did yesterday. Which is why I never got around to doing it: The last thing I did yesterday ended up being arguing with my 5-year-old to PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!! go to sleep. The cough medicine I'd taken was making me SERIOUSLY drowsy. And my daughter was seriously wide awake. (Ah, but she's the night owl.) So by the time she drifted off to sleep, I had, too.

But, yesterday, I pretty much grumbled and ranted about this infernal book. You know, you can REALLY tell when a writer is working on a new novel: They get all moody and bitchy. Yup, that was me. I even told my sister I'd developed a love/hate relationship with my computer because of the very fact my NaNoWriMo book is on it. Just WAITING for me to finish it.

I worked on the book yesterday. And I worked on it more today. I felt a slight ray of hope as I did some more reseach on the Internet. But, the truth of the matter is, my protagonist is not very likable. I don't LIKE her. At all. She's the kind of jaded person I totally avoid.

Well. Maybe that's a good thing. See, it gives her the chance to IMPROVE for the rest of the story. Well, if that's possible. She's SUPPOSED to, anyway. We'll see what happens.

My research took me to a message board at the NaNoWriMo site. (I don't post on there; my hangout is the Absolute Write Water Cooler!) I thought 'maybe it would help if I visited it.' Then I regretted ever checking it out. Some writers have their word count at 10,000 and even 25,000. I haven't even gotten to 5,000 yet. Sigh.

So, anyway. I had been reading this novel called The House Beautiful by Allison Burnett (I finished it some days ago). At one part of the story, a publishing company editor tells this aspiring novelist that her book is "like ramblings. Like a diary. As though you were just typing whatever came into your head. Or whatever happened to you and your friends that day." (pg. 195) This disheaterned me, probably more than it did the character. My NaNoWriMo book is like that. Like a diary. It's not EXACTLY a diary per se...just, diary entries. If it was ACTUALLY a diary, readers would get VERY bored VERY fast. No, I spread out the things that happen to my character. I don't make it day-to-day stuff. And I don't actually have them like typical diary entries, either. They're more like scenes, narrated by a writer and not just "summed up" by a diarist. Well, you know, something like that. All the same, that quote had me worried. (Gah! It's too soon to start worrying about this book!) What if it got that same response from publishers?? Or...what if the response was, "NOBODY has a life as interesting or eventful as that!"

Well...if they DO say that...I would disagree.

Look at MY OWN freaking life, for example. Believe you me, A LOT of unbelievable, crazy, and TOTALLY unexpected stuff has happened in my life. I am dead serious about this. Crazy stuff. Shocking stuff. I mean, I used to go around saying, "My life could be a freaking soap opera!" And, it was true. For a long while there, something happened EVERY week. You could always count on it.

So....I think about that. The fact that I myself have had an interesting, eventful life. And, it gives me hope. I do believe my book can still pull its weight and pass THAT "too unbelievable" test. Because, really, a lot of real life is just as unbelievable.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

The things we forget in November

Today I did something quite uncommon for me: I bought a birthday gift early this year. Yes! EARLY! Not late, as I am KNOWN to do in my family. My mother's birthday is in 17 days, and I decided to get her a birthday gift early this year. (Last year I think it did arrive late, but I KNOW I mailed it BEFORE her birthday! Blame the P.O.!)

And even as I remembered to get my mother her birthday gift this year...EARLY!!!...there are some other things I'm forgetting this month.

For example, I know this other writer online. We chat often. She told me she had this idea for a short story to write, and after sharing it with me, I replied that I also had just such a story idea stashed away in my brain. We talked about our similar ideas before a deal was struck: The two of us would come up with a BRIEF outline of our stories, then write it up and share. I took on the challenge (of course!) and life went on.

Then she recently asked me if I had the outline finished.

Ahh...no. Actually, I had forgotten all about it since the start of NaNoWriMo. I've been practically LIVING in my character's world. (This is why I am not taking on SIGNews assignments this month. And also why I've forgotten about TWO interviews I was supposed to do last week! Sigh.)

My friend understood, of course, but the fact that the challenge remained only served as a reminder that not only had I forgotten about our deal, but I had also forgotten OTHER things since starting my book.

Like paying my bills. Responding to emails. And arranging for rides to appointments.

Oh, well. Only 26 more days to go. At least I'm not forgetting about updating the blog. Or working on the book.

Huh? What book? Oh...yeah!

Friday, November 03, 2006

Sick but still writing

Still writing my NaNoWriMo book. Unfortunately, I have come down with something. A bad cough and... my head getting all spacey from time to time. I think I also have a fever. *feels hot forehead*

In any event, I'm still working on the novel. I read blogs today and some fellow NaNo blogs I came across were really encouraging.

Even more encouraging was my word count so far: 2,495! YAY!! Of course, I have to do better than that if I plan to write 50,000 words in the span of 30 days. But, I'm giving it my best shot. Especially while I'm sick: I write in it a little, take a break, then write some more.

And I'm telling myself "quantity, not quality." A mantra repeated on the NaNoWriMo site. I guess that's a good thing, too. Hard to concentrate when your head's on a whole 'nother planet.

Oh, and here's today's comment I had to make about writing this book, which I shared with an online friend: "Writing this book is like living in a 'Legally Blonde' movie. I want to shoot myself." She thought that was funny. I am sooo not kidding. On the first part.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

A character challenge

One thing you can say about what kinds of books I write: There is something for everyone. When I decided to start writing chick lit, I asked myself if I was doing this because I wanted to, or because I wanted to have something in THAT genre, for THAT audience.

My answer: Because I wanted to.

Now, however, I’m not so sure.

Got through the first two chapters okay, even as my stomach turned while I wrote them. But here I am at chapter three, and guess what? I don’t like my character. I just! Don’t! Like! Her! AAH!!!

I was chatting with another deaf writer online today. She knows I’m doing NaNo. I told her, “Every chapter I write makes me want to puke.”

“Why?” she asked.

So I told her. My character is EVIL! I don’t LIKE her. She’s…mean. Yes, a real meanie. So shallow and self-absorbed and snobbish and deceitful. My words: “I don't like my character. I don't like the way she is and what she does.”

My character is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of everything I am. My “evil twin,” so to speak, although she is younger than me.

My friend replied, "You don't have to like the character. Just let her evolve."

While I agreed, I had to wonder if my character WILL evolve. If she will change. Stop being so shallow and all “me-me-me.”

In any event, I’m still writing her story. I set out to do this book, and I am going to do it! Even though my protagonist is the most undesirable character to write through her POV, I must plod on. With any luck, “living” as my character for the next 28 days will serve as a reminder that at least I’m not like that.

Wow, and I thought I had a character challenge with my last book, writing in the POV of my delusional antagonist. This one really beats that challenge.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

A rocky start

The first of November is FINALLY here! YAY!! Now, now, I can FINALLY get to writing my NaNoWriMo book. Huzzah!

I leapt out of bed this morning, and even though I was shivering (my sock-covered feet were frozen blocks of ice!!), I hurried the dog along as he went outside to do his business so I could sit at the computer to start blissfully writing. Yes! My Muse was FINALLY set free! I could finally write this story building within me! I couldn't be more pleased. I couldn't be more excited! I couldn't be more anxious to get started!!

I couldn't get the computer to work.

Alarmed, I realized that once again my computer was acting up. I don't know WHAT in the world is wrong with it, really, but when I explained what it was doing to my neighbor's teenaged son, Jeremy, he said it sounded like a virus. (Oh, bleep.) I tried what worked last time in getting the thing to work again: Restarting it ad naseum until it righted itself. (That and turning it off for a little bit then restarting it.) I also tried to frantically save my files to a CD the last time this happened, but my only CD is too full for EVERYTHING and I couldn't figure out how to format or overwrite on the darn thing. But, yes, going about my businesss, anyway, was what got the computer to "right" itself last time. This time, I did not try that at first. For some reason. I just thought that restarting it would do the trick.

And in between the waiting periods for my next attempt to turn the computer back on, I grabbed a notebook I'd been scribbling my novel revision notes in and started writing. First I wrote my PTP blog post. The one I was too tired to write last night. Then I started writing up notes and sketches for my NaNoWriMo book. (Sheesh. I need to start calling it something else. I keep being reminded of "Mork & Mindy" every time I type that.) As my next attempt to get the computer to work failed miserably, I sat there pondering whether or not I'd be able to do this new book using good old pen and paper. I don't have a typewriter anymore. I lost my typewriter when I lost all that stuff I had in that garage before I moved. (And it was my FIRST typewriter, too!! I wrote my very first novel on that thing!! *bawls*) I just know an editor is going to tell me, "Dawn, there is no way and no how I'll accept a handwritten manuscript." I don't like writing first drafts on the computer. I just can't, really. Natalie Goldberg got it right when she said, "Handwriting is more connected to the movement of the heart." This is so true for me. I'm a notebook writer. Not a computer writer! Ick! But, this being NaNu-I mean, NaNoWriMo, and all, I have to type up the first draft. *sigh* Not. Happy.

Especially since you can see what I'm working with here. Infernal machine. Grr!

As the morning dragged on and I was flying in between the dining room and kitchen, cooking breakfast and checking the computer yet again, I pondered the possibility that Jeremy might be home and willing to avail himself to rescuing me from my technological quagmire. Part of me was dreading that some unseen virus was eating away at all of my files stored in that hard drive. That all the time I spent on fixing up my novel and writing everything else would go to waste as every single one of those files suddenly disappeared now and forevermore. (I have actually lost unprinted/unsaved writing before, thanks to just such a virus courtesy of the makers of the Kodak CDs! You can only imagine my despair over losing all of it, one of which was an article I sold and was having difficulty in getting paid for and another of which was my second attempt to write a script!) I stressed over this and in between flipping pancakes and yet again failing to get the computer to work, an idea struck me. I knew just exactly how I could save at least some of my newer works, sans CD: Email them to myself! Yes! I could do it! I could barely see anything on the darn screen but I could navigate the mouse by memory and just click-click until I managed to extract my newer files (like my novel!!) from the crippled hard drive then email them to my Web-based email account. I have done this before, when I was going out of town and wanted to have certain files available to work on (and, before you say it, I don't trust relying only on a CD or disk to take along with me. Who knows what disaster awaits them??). So I set to work, finishing up the cooking in between the clicking. I logged into my Web-based email account and clicked "Attachments." I tentatively waited, praying the computer didn't conk out on me again, watching that blue bar thingy slowly, verrrry slooowwwly, chug along, then I had to turn away to do something and when I came back, saw that the computer had....shut down again.


I wanted to scream. I stood there, frozen, mentally pleading with the computer that it wouldn't blow up, or anything. Destroying my work it kept locked away from my grasp. I numbly watched as it came back on and...it was working JUST FINE!!! YAY!!!!!

I excitedly jumped up and down, cheering, "It's working! It's working!" My daughter, who sat at a nearby table, with her plate of food in front of her, smiled as she cheered "yay!!" and clapped. We high-fived and, now more relaxed, I sat down to eat. Yes! I HAD to eat first, before I could use the computer to start WRITING. The rule in the house is that mealtimes are spent together at the table. And it was breakfast, so I had to eat up the pancakes and scrambled eggs I cooked.

I just moved a little more faster this time, anticipating the free time I would soon have to get to work.