Keeping that flame alive

I've taken to the habit of pencilling in the dates of when I'd have certain projects finished. I'd get the first draft of one book done by a certain date and work on so many chapters of it each day to get there. I planned to have the FINAL draft of my essay collection put together by today, because that's the date I gave to a publisher in my proposal.

Alas, the book was not ready by today.

Alas, the manuscript was rejected.

Alas, I'm wrestling with MORE doubts over whether or not I should even TRY to get this book published. Doubt has been throwing some serious punches at me. Punches that say: "You're not famous." "No one will care about what YOU have to say." "It's not important enough for a book." "You're not an expert." "You don't have any fancy degrees or letters after your name." "You aren't in a position to tell people the RIGHT way to do things."

I have been dealing with these doubt monsters EVERY SINGLE DAY. I am trying to move past them. I am trying to conquer them and continue in my quest to get my book published.

Why do I even want to get this book published?

Because I have something to share. Stories and lessons learned. Insights and opinions. Yeah, I KNOW I'm not a celebrity or journalist or whatever. (Well, not a journalist ANYMORE.) I know I'm not an expert and I don't have THOUSANDS of fans snatching up every single book I write. I know this. But I still think the book has merit. And I am still willing to stand behind it. I am still willing to put myself out there and talk about this book and WITH people who read it.

I still want it to be a book. Because it's not just for ME. It's for everyone.

For this reason, I will keep moving forward with my book. Yes, I've been sad over these roadblocks and frustrated with those darn doubts. But I want to see this book become an ACTUAL book. I won't give up on it, no matter how long it takes. Or what date I will actually end up having it finalized at.