Revision blues, Part 2

I figured out what was wrong with the essay. Even though I kept thinking 'I NEED somebody to read this thing and tell me what they think is wrong,' there wasn't anyone available to read it so I had to work it out on my own. It ended up getting worked out in that workshop in my mind, while I was sleeping. I literally woke up knowing what was wrong with it! I guess "sleeping on it" really helps!

The problem was a case of "apples and oranges." I was talking about two different things. I guess I thought they were connected somehow but I realize now that they are not. The main issue this essay talks about concerns in-vitro fertilization, not abortion, as I also discussed. I'm not going to address the moral and ethical implications associated with the termination of healthy embryos once a viable embryo has been chosen for implantation. (As I understand it, instead of termination, the remaining healthy embryos are stored.) But what I was talking about was "designer babies" compared to deaf couples aborting their babies based on the suspicion that the baby can hear. (Yes! That's the ONLY reason why those babies were aborted! An outrage.) It's not the same thing, so I had to take that part out.

I WAS outraged over deaf couples doing that. In fact, my anger over that happening seeped into my essay. I had to take THAT out, too. Since I already took....that whole issue out altogether. But I have to remember that even though this IS a personal essay, I have to keep things like anger, sarcasm and satire in check.

I also decided to delete the part about a Bill passed by Parliament affecting the IVF community, because by the time this book comes out, that Bill might no longer be law in the UK. Well, I said MIGHT. Who knows. But better to leave it out, all the same.

So I made all those changes this morning. And I'm satisfied with the essay now. Thankfully, Draft 5 is the final draft. Woo-hoo!