Dawn Colclasure's Blog

Author and poet Dawn Colclasure

Sunday, September 17, 2023

Turning Pain into Poetry

 

 

There are a lot of ways to write about our pain and trauma. Most people usually write about it in a journal or, if they don’t mind having an audience, on a blog. I have done both of these in the past, as well as writing about my pain and trauma in a personal essay. Sometimes I turned it into something I used in a story.

 

One other way I put my pain into words, however, is by writing about it in my poetry.

 

I started writing poetry at a young age, so I have been writing it for a very long time. Some days, poetry is all I write. I have written so much poetry over the years that crafting poems is a second nature for me.

 

Even so, putting my pain and trauma into verse is not something that I do very often. I’d rather forget about my pain and trauma than write about it, though one of my recent ebooks shared what I learned about writing about our trauma. In fact, it is that knowledge alone that helped guide me towards writing about my pain and trauma in a journal.

 

But, put it into poetry? That’s a little different.

 

When I wrote the poems in my new poetry book, The House That Madness Built, I did not write about what happened in graphic terms or write about it directly.

 

For the most part, I focused on how those experiences affected me. What they made me feel. My reactions and observations.

 

The hardest poem for me to write, though, was the one about when I discovered my cat had been murdered. My younger brother had put her into the dryer. I spent all day calling for her and looking for her. Then my brother told me to check the laundry in the dryer. I did, figuring I could use a break from looking for my cat. I opened the dryer door and the first thing I pulled out was my dead cat. Through my screams and tears, I saw my younger brother smiling.

 

This was not the only trauma I endured because of him, but it was extremely difficult for me to write about it. But after I wrote that poem, I felt like my cat’s death will not be forgotten. In a way, this poem was her cry over the injustice of what was done to her. And my cry over how very wrong it all was.

 

Putting memories into words have that kind of power. They can unburden us from our pain. They can serve as a voice we are unable to find or speak with ourselves. And they can help set us free from all of it.

 

Putting our painful experiences into poems can help us see them in a new light. That’s what kind of result I got out of this. Not all poetry is flowery or purple prose. Not all poetry is happy and inspirational. There are some poems out there written about sad topics in history, as well as painful experiences people go through. And for some people, putting their pain and trauma into a poem is the only way they can write about it.

 

By putting all of that pain into a book and telling my story of having survived all those things, it is like walking free into the future. I don’t carry those burdens around anymore; they now live within the pages of my poetry book. This book that tells the story of some of the darkest chapters of my life.

 

So why did I choose to have it published? There are MANY other poems I wrote about painful experiences which I keep packed away. There are MANY essays I wrote during hard times that won’t ever see print.

 

Well, I chose to move forward with getting these poems published because I wanted my story in print. I want it out there. It is also a good way for me to prepare for when my memoir, which also contains some other painful experiences, will be published as well. This is just another step I am taking in sharing my pain and trauma in a public platform. Everyone has the right to tell their stories. These are some of mine.

 

I am grateful to Written Tales for publishing my book. And thank you, Kevin Saitta, for editing the poems and putting it all together into a book I am happy with. It helped me to heal. And just as my story had a happy ending, I hope that it will let others know that no matter how dark things are now, there is a light at the end.

 

Here is the blurb:

 

Within the pages of this chapbook, you will delve into the profound and harrowing journey of author Dawn Colclasure. Her collection of confessional poems is a reflection of the darkest chapters of her life. Dawn's narrative unfolds from the haunting echoes of a turbulent childhood marred by abuse and violence to the heart-wrenching betrayal of trust through sexual assault. Through her verses, you will bear witness to the moments when hopelessness eclipsed the possibility of a brighter future, prompting her to grapple with thoughts of self-harm. As a survivor of severe burns, Dawn endured relentless bullying and painful rejection, ultimately leading to a profound sense of low self-esteem, self-hatred, and the suffocating embrace of depression.

 

"The House That Madness Built" stands as a testament to a life entrenched in turmoil, a life that spiraled into the depths of alcoholism and despair. Yet, it is also a story of resilience, redemption, and the stark moment of reckoning when Dawn was forced to confront her addictions. This collection takes you on an exploration of her choices between life and death, a profound and transformative odyssey that paints a striking portrait of the human spirit's enduring will to survive.

 

Here is the buy link

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