I Have Permission to Write, But Do I Need Permission to Publish?

 

Photo Credit: Markus Winkler via Pexels

So there I was, writing yet another poem to go into the book of memorial poems I have been working on for several months, when a thought struck me: What if the family of the person I was writing about got angry at me for even writing this poem?

 

For context, this book of poems is a collection of verse written in memory of people I have known, as well as people I didn’t know. But saying they were people that I didn’t know doesn’t necessarily mean they were complete strangers. Some of those people I didn’t know who I have written memorial poems about include family and friends I knew on social media, but not in real life. I didn’t exactly know them for years, though there are some I knew for years via the internet.

 

Then there are the people I didn’t know personally, but knew about because of their celebrity – such as Princess Diana, John F. Kennedy, Jr., and Ozzy Osbourne. I wrote poems in memory of them sometime after they passed away.

 

But now I’m wondering: Do I need permission to include these poems in my book? What if the family gets angry at me for writing these poems?

 

I had that thought after writing a memorial poem about a cousin whose life ended this summer, and it bothered me that I might experience negativity from her family when that poem is published in the book. It bothered me so much that I reached out to another cousin and asked her if it would be okay to include this poem about our cousin in this book. I also said, “I don't want it to look like I am trying to be a part of something that I am not a part of and I don't want people to get mad at me for writing something about a person I did not know, even if it is written with loving thoughts and kind words.” My cousin replied that she thinks this late cousin’s sister would appreciate the gesture. Just to be on the safe side, I reached out to this sister to start a conversation about it.

 

With family, it might be easy to resolve that problem, because then I could reach out to them about it. With friends, I have done the same. But with celebrities? I am not so sure.

 

Would I need permission to get the poems I wrote in memory of these celebrities published? Their deaths moved me and I felt compelled to write about them. So I wrote poems in their memory – about the lives they lived and the ways they have touched others. They are all positive poems. I don’t say bad things about them. But now I wonder if even getting these poems published would be a problem.    

 

I suppose that, as in every case when it comes to an author being conflicted about something in a book, it would be better to just leave that decision with the publisher. So, that is what I will do, in this case.

Oops! I Did it Again

 

 

While I was looking for a certain poetry book manuscript in my files yesterday, I saw one labeled “Poetry book on dreams and dreaming.” When I saw that, a thought struck me: Which one?

 

When authors write a book on a topic, whether it’s fiction or nonfiction, they usually write one. I have found, however, that I tend to write two.

 

I have written two poetry books on dreams and dreaming: Dream World and Only In My Dreams. One is not very different from the other: Both books contain personal experiences with dreams, as well as thoughts and meditations on the different types of dreams we have.

 

And I have now written two poetry books on the subject of grieving: Poems for the Grieving Heart, as well as my new poetry book, Last Writes. Also, in Last Writes, there are two poems that are similar to each other but they have different titles.

 

I always have to have two of everything, ya know!

 

But even as these two poetry books appear to be on the same topic, they are not. Grieving Heart includes poems on grieving, loss, and bereavement. While there are poems in Last Writes that also fall into these categories, this book also explores death culture, the topic of death, confronting our own mortality as well as personal observances of the death of loved ones.

 

So while these two books are sort of the same, they are not exactly the same. Even so, several years have passed between the two of them, and grief is one of those universal concepts that can bring new ideas and experiences into our lives, so it’s really not surprising that I had more poems to write on this subject.

 

In the case of Last Writes especially, experiencing grief over the loss of my brother did inspire new poems. I have two brothers one who passed away last year, and this particular brother was the first one to pass away. I was experiencing this kind of loss for the first time. Some people may feel that grief is the same no matter which of our loved ones pass away, but in my case, it was a very unique experience for me. Perhaps losing a sibling or a brother is a unique experience for everyone. I certainly did not anticipate writing so many poems while I mourned this loss, though I am grateful that I did. Writing those poems helped me to adjust to it and accept life with this person no longer in it.

 

Around the time that this book was scheduled for release, I was asked to provide a 200-word promo piece for this book, along with an excerpt from the book.

 

Here is what I wrote:

 

Last Writes

Dawn Colclasure

Twisted Dreams Press, 2026

69 ppg. (paperback)

ISBN-13: 979-8187167968

Link

 

 

Last Writes by Dawn Colclasure is a collection of poetry on death, dying, and grief. It allows readers to explore the many facets of death and bereavement, as well as offer comforting verse in times of sadness when we say our final goodbyes.

 

While the subject of death may be morbid to some, it is a transition which we all must one day make. Some cultures honor and celebrate the memories of those who have passed on, while many people reserve a unique interpretation and fascination of death and dying. The poems in the first part of this book reflect these various differences.

 

The sadness we experience when losing a loved one may leave us unable to find the right words to say, and this is where the second part of the book, The Mourning After, can be helpful. Here readers will find poems capturing the many stages of grief, meditations on loss, and gentle passages to share during our final moments with those we love. Mourning the loss of a loved one can be one of the most difficult experiences, and the poems in this book offer a gentle reminder that no one need proceed on this journey alone.

 

 

EXCERPT FROM

 

Last Writes

Copyright © 2026 by Dawn Colclasure

 

 

Death Mementos

 

I can’t carry their deaths with me

Because I promised I would go on

With my life. Doing what must be done.

Living on autopilot.

 

So instead, I will keep their deaths

Up high on a shelf.

Visible daily.

Remembered often.

 

Just one glance

At their deaths

Is enough

To pull me back down.

 

At least, in this way,

Before once again

Glancing up at that shelf,

I can prepare myself with a reminder:

They are gone.

A Public and Private Grief

 

Photo Credit: Sandy Millar at Unsplash

 

They say “write what you know.” For me, I write what I live.

 

Most of the ideas that I have for the things that I write come from real life. Some of these things, such as novels and poems, are inspired by real events. (Some of the poems in my poetry book, Other, are based on real events. They were written after I learned of either the murder or suicides of some people in the LGBTQ+ community.) Other events that happened in my life inspired what I wrote, be it the death of someone I knew, a dream, or actual events that happened to me personally.

 

With a poetry book I have coming out next week, Last Writes, many of the poems in the grief section of the book were written after my older brother passed away last year. Because of this, I dedicated that part of the book to his memory.

 

With another poetry book that I wrote, Poems for the Grieving Heart, I was inspired to write it after grieving the loss of different people in my life. Grief also inspired other poems I wrote in that book where it was not a personal loss.

 

Grief is a major topic in my life right now. Today, I remember how I grieved the loss of one of my best friends, my “wolf sister” July Burke Deadrich, who passed away six years ago. Today is her birthday, so I am remembering her as well as the poem I wrote following her death. I actually wrote two memorial poems for her. One of them was too personal, so I did not choose it as a poem to include in a book of memorial poems which I am writing. I also wrote a poem after her brother passed away, which happened some time before her death. He, too, was my friend, so I was very grieved when I received the news that he was gone.

 

But the poems I write following a person’s death are not always the ones that I will attempt to have published. I want the poems in the memorial poems book to be poems that everyone could relate to and appreciate (which is why I wrote several drafts of the poem for my brother before I finally had one that wasn’t so personal). And I am quietly, privately grieving the recent loss of a cousin who took her life. She, too, will have a poem in this book.

 

But all of this begs the question: Should grief be something that is put on display?

 

One of the comments my editor made while she was editing Last Writes is that one of the poems really captured one of the feelings a person grieving the loss of a loved one is going through. She had that same comment for another poem, one that touches on how a person experiencing loss will have both anger and sadness about a loved one’s death. Both of these poems were written while I was grieving the loss of my brother, so they were both real, honest, and raw in all of their emotions. I held nothing back for those poems I wrote shortly after his passing.

 

Most people may feel that grief should be something that we experience privately. It should be something that we give in to only after we are finally alone again, done with our social obligations. I am reminded of an episode of the TV show Good Times, when the mother of the family smashes a glass bowl, exclaiming “Damn! Damn! Damn!” then giving in to her sadness over her husband’s passing by finally allowing herself to cry. She does this when she is finally alone. This captures so well how many people try to hold in their grief while they continue with their lives – going to work, attending events, going to appointments, etc.

 

Shortly after my sister-in-law, Shannah, passed away at the age of 35, I broke down and cried while I was at work. But I made sure I was alone when it happened, because I did not want to alarm the individuals I was caring for at that time. (If you can get bereavement at your job after a loved one passes, take it. Seriously.)

 

As far as whether or not our grief should be public or private, I think that is a personal choice. In some cases, sharing grief with family members as well as friends can be therapeutic. We never get over our grief, we never see it end. We only learn to live with it. But having someone to talk to about it, especially during the rough patches, can really help us to get through it.

 

But as far as being written about in a book or posted on a blog, like I did with the poem I wrote after my cousin, Mark’s, death? I do this for those they leave behind. Yes, I grieve privately, for myself, but I also grieve publicly, for others. My public grief is there because I want there to be something “out there” that the person’s family and loved ones can appreciate, cherish, and remember someone fondly with. And I want them to know that I share their pain.

 

Grief is a universal experience. It is something which all of us experience. I hope the poems in both of my books – Poems for the Grieving Heart and Last Writes – will give readers something they can relate to, see themselves in, and hopefully find comfort from. These books are a shoulder to cry on, the hand to hold, and the friend to lean on in times of sorrow.

 

For this reason, what’s written should be made public. Absolutely. It should be made available to everyone, but especially for the people who need it. Because most people do.