Writing is What Gave Me Hope When I Was About to Lose All Hope

 

Photo Credit: fotografierende via Pixabay

 

The year was 2020 and it was not only a bad year for the entire world that was dealing with a pandemic, but it was also a bad year for me. After months of dealing with constantly changing protocols at a job that required I wear a mask for several hours, I resigned. I didn’t want to quit this job, but because I had been written up too many times, I was faced with the choice to either quit or lose a substantial amount of money earned through PTO. So I quit that job in order to at least walk away with some money in my pocket to help tide us over until something else came along.

 

Still, I was very depressed, as I had created an entire identity around that job. I loved the work, so it was hard to walk away from it after almost three years. But it was time for a change.

 

And that change was writing.

 

I did manage to get another job shortly after I resigned from being a Direct Support Professional (DSP), but I was let go from it three months later.

 

The thing that was still a constant in my life even after I lost the other job? Writing.

 

Up until I started writing again in late 2020, I had been dealing with a dry spell. This occurred during my recovery from alcoholism-induced pancreatitis, which happened in 2017. For some reason, I was unable to write! As worrying and alarming as this was for me, I didn’t realize at the time that my body was going through a transformation. After years of being a heavy drinker, I was no longer drinking. I was no longer an alcoholic. And this shift took my body by surprise. This shift meant that I needed to go through a reset and allow my body, as well as my brain, to heal from those years of addiction.

 

I had to wait until I was able to write again in order to resume writing again. Writing did come back into my life, in its own time. At the right time. At a time that I needed it the most.

 

While I was going through that dry spell, though, I focused my energy on finding satisfaction through other means. I read books, threw myself into my job, and got out there to explore. These things brought me satisfaction. They brought me joy.

 

But once the BIGGEST thing that brought me joy was gone, I hit rock bottom. I was extremely depressed. And because I kept hearing about more people dying from Covid as well as more people losing their jobs and more people struggling through the pandemic, I started to lose hope.

 

Then writing came back into my life. It brought me the joy that I lost. Even better, it brought back hope. Being able to write again was something of a miracle for me, and it brought some hope back into my life.

 

And nearly six years later, I am still writing. (I am also still sober!)

 

Having witnessed how writing can change a person’s life and boost their mental health is what inspired me to write the book Write for Your Life!: The Health Benefits of Writing. While doing research for this book, I learned about how writing can improve our mental health. As someone who has chronic depression, anxiety, and panic disorder, I have also personally experienced how writing has indeed helped my mental health. Writing provides me with a strong sense of satisfaction, release, empowerment, and therapy. I keep a daily journal, and I gotta say that being able to rant and whine on the pages has been immensely helpful. (Sometimes I’ll rant to my husband, but only after he insists that I share what is bothering me. I really don’t like dumping things on people.)  

 

While I understand that not everyone can benefit from writing, it still remains a powerful tool in coping with the downsides of life, as well as offering healing when mental health issues get out of hand.

 

Writing is the one thing we have control over.

 

Writing is the one thing we can choose to do in our own time.

 

Writing is the one thing that we can rely on as a constant in our lives.

 

The best part about writing? Anyone can do it. You don’t need to write for publication. You don’t need any special tools to write with (you can write with pen and paper or even on your phone). You don’t need to have any special training in order to write. You can write, in your own way and in your own time.

 

So, write. It will offer you the joy you might be missing. It can bring some hope back into your life. I know that it did for me, and it still does.

Pushing Forward and Pulling Back

Photo Credit: Elisa Ventur on Pixabay

 

“Don’t push yourself.” This was advice I gave to a friend who wanted to go for walks in spite of her ongoing bouts with dizziness.

 

It’s advice I had to follow this week, as well.

 

Writers are known for pushing forward in order to meet a deadline, finish writing a WIP, or to get to that next chapter. We go without food, sleep, water, exercise, and social gatherings in order to meet these goals.

 

And that has been something that I have been doing this week, as well.

 

For the most part, I had daily writing goals to meet: Work on at least one of my WIP, get some writing done in a certain article that is due at the end of the month, work on the SPARREW Newsletter. And so far, I met those goals.

 

But it was rough going.

 

Part of the recovery process from my eye surgery includes using eye drops several times a day. At first, it was four times a day, and with three different eye drops to use at five-minute intervals, that took some time out of my days. Now it’s three times a day for just two of them. They still require some time away from the work I am doing. Even so, I am certainly investing that time in the post-op care for my eye, as it is very important and contributes to the overall healing process for my eye.

 

I also had to take time to rest when I was dealing with headaches. (Yes, unfortunately, I’m still having those darn headaches! I guess they weren’t a result of my vision problem after all.) There was also a day I had a really bad dizzy spell, which also required rest.

 

These are times I pulled back from my drive to Get Things Done. I was out of commission. Unavailable.

 

But there were times that I pushed forward, too, in spite of everything going on. I pushed forward to get writing done in books. I pushed forward to read manuscript submissions. And I pushed forward to finish writing one thing or another.

 

Yes, as writers, we tend to push forward to meet obligations, but sometimes, we gotta know when to pull back too. If at all possible, pull back if you need to. Your health is more important than the writing or attending a con. Your mental health is especially important and should not suffer all for the writing cause.

 

Make sure you know when it’s okay to push forward and when you need to pull back. And if you really do need to pull back, then do so without guilt. Step away, slow down, and rest. We aren’t machines that can operate 24/7. We need breaks, we need rest. But, ultimately, we need to take care of ourselves. If we don’t take care of ourselves, then the writing suffers. So push forward if you are able to, but pull back when you need to.  

 

Working in Shifts

 

After I returned to freelance writing last year, I knew that while I adopted some new work habits, others had to go. The same now applies to my current status working as:

 

·Author of books

·Freelance writer of poems, short stories, essays and articles

·Book Reviewer

·Newsletter publisher

·Writer (of everything else – like blog posts!)

·Editor of YA manuscripts for PsychoToxin Press

·Marketing Manager for PsychoToxin Press

 

Yes, that is many hats to wear in one day. And I have found that in order to strike a balance in being able to wear each hat, it is better to work in shifts.

 

Some people may wear one hat all day and be done. Not me. I go from wearing one hat to another!

 

It really has proven to be the best way for me to get stuff done with EVERY ONE of those roles that I am now playing!

 

And this also means that I get started in the morning and call it quits late at night. Sometimes I am busy working until 1AM!

 

But I really don’t mind, because I love what I do.

 

I just want people to understand that there is so much I am able to get done while I am wearing a certain hat! And when I am done wearing THAT particular hat for the day? I’m done wearing that particular hat for the day!

 

I just keep moving through the shifts and do what I can in the time I have available for that particular shift.

 

Even so, I do also check my email accounts at various times of the day. Like, when I have a free minute! Anything can pop up in those email accounts, and I can either tackle it then or make a note to tackle it tomorrow.

 

I used to do this when I was freelancing. I’d jump from working on one thing then jump to another, the thing I previously worked on not picked up again until the next day. Now I’m doing this again with my current workload.

 

I am the same with social media. I’ll get on there, post and comment away, then get busy with other things and not tackle social media again until I am either waiting on something or I have free time. (Social media is both for professional and personal use!)

 

 

While other people may see this method of multitasking as a poorly effective way of getting work done, it really is the best thing for me. I don’t have a one-track brain; I need ALL of my tracks running every day! I need to be doing one thing then another thing then another thing! I am not able to focus on one thing all day or stay in one “mode” all day. I gotta wear my many hats! It really is the most effective way for me to get everything done in one day.

 

I should note that this sort of schedule is not the same every single day. I work on different things during the weekends, like website maintenance, putting together my next workweek schedule, catching up on anything I need to invest more time in and going through emails. I try to make Sundays a day to rest and have fun, because we all gotta have that one day to reset!

 

But this is what is usually going on with me during the week and, so far, it’s the kind of schedule that works best for me.

 

However, I should note that not every day will be the same. Because of my health problems, I am not able to do all the things that I want to do in my day.

 

For example, on Thursday, I had a bad headache that lasted for hours. It got worse when I started to also have tinnitus right along with it! It was awful. I could not do ANYTHING. It was late in the day when I started to feel better (while still experiencing mild tinnitus) so I got a late start and could not tackle everything.

 

 

This is why I try to get the important stuff done FIRST, when I feel well enough to do them.

 

This is also why I am careful with how I spend my time. My health is iffy, so I do what I can when I can. Today, for example, I hurt my back in the morning, so I spent all day walking a little weird. Sitting down brought some relief and I did as much work as possible until the pain became unbearable. There were a few times today I was stretched out on the couch or my bed with a pillow supporting my lower back. That and Tylenol helped.

 

Still, it was a good day. I still got stuff done! And finished the story edits, which was a BIG thing for me! (And I want to give a shoutout to the amazing team at PsychoToxin Press! We are all often sending messages back and forth every day and everybody makes time to Get Stuff Done!)

But for every other day, when I am feeling well and pain-free, I’m go on all engines! And working my way through everything one shift at a time.

 

And if I don’t get all the things done in one day? I’ll get right back to it the next day! At least I try to get to them all, though sometimes I am not able to.