When a nonfiction book just wasn't working anymore
Several years ago, I was contacted by someone who was
recovering from addiction. This person wanted to communicate with me about the
goings-on in her life on her road to recovery and she wanted to communicate
with me as she moved from one step to the next. She was recovering from a drug
addiction and decided to keep in touch with me by sharing her experiences. I
was so inspired by her story that I started writing a book about making
positive changes in your life – as this woman had done. She was ultimately the
person who inspired me to write this book.
Unfortunately, her story does not have a happy ending.
Thankfully, she did not go back to being a drug addict, but the damage done by
her addiction ravaged her health so terribly that she was no longer a
functioning adult in society.
This turn of events made me seriously reconsider the book
I started writing, which was pretty much based on her story and her progress in
breaking free of addiction and living a brand new life. On one hand, I did not see
her end result as a disaster. This is, unfortunately, what happens to many
recovering addicts. Sometimes, they are not able to completely have a new life
because of what their long-term addiction ended up doing to them mentally and
physically. This is a very sad outcome for many recovering addicts. However, I
was not about to abandon the book I started writing. I didn’t want to just drop
it. I felt that it was an important book to continue working on. However,
because things were different in the woman’s case now, I had to seriously
reconsider just exactly what I was writing.
In the end, I decided to break the book I was working on
into two books. The first book would be about taking care of personal negative
issues – fear, anxiety, addiction and self-doubts – and the second book would
be the one about creating a more healthier lifestyle.
Because the first book deals with some serious issues
which I firmly believe would need the assistance of a professional, I decided
that it would be a good idea to seek a co-author for the book. Specifically,
someone trained to help someone overcome anxiety and addiction. The whole conquering
fear thing and working on self-doubt areas are definitely subjects I can write
about well, because I have a lot of experience with those two things, but I
definitely felt the anxiety and addiction subjects needed a trained professional.
So I am in the process of looking for a professional to co-author that book
with me.
As a side note, I do also have experience with addiction.
I struggled with a drinking problem for years. There was just so much personal
turmoil I was going through for so long, so many times I hated myself and
wished I was dead and battled with regrets, and it was just too much for me and
drove me to drinking. I was also struggling with depression and personal loss.
Thankfully, these days I am stronger and have broken free of all of that. I
have had to learn to forgive myself for being such a shitty person in the past
and try to be a better person in the present. But, yes, I do have experience
with that sort of thing. I know those horrors so well. I have also had panic
attacks – I don’t know if that’s something that can be “cured” or “controlled”
or whatever, but I do know I’ll cross THAT bridge eventually. Maybe teaming up
with a professional who works with people battling anxiety will help out there.
One thing I do know, though, is that I am certainly not that person anymore,
though I am not yet physically where I want to be – but I WILL get there.
That second book will be my journey to get there. It will
also have some of the material that was covered in the original book that I
started writing. So, basically, the first book will deal with issues on the
inside and the second book will deal with issues on the outside. And I think
that is a better way to go about it. After all, breaking free of addiction
means working on yourself inside and out. You need to address the problems you’re
dealing with on the inside and change your life on the outside. And even though
I keep thinking that nobody is going to care about my own personal journey to
creating a more active lifestyle and getting into better shape, I still want to
write the book anyway. I want to go on this journey, have that experience, and
write about it! And if my publisher wants to publish this book, then that’s even
better! It won’t be me telling the world “Follow this program because it worked
for me!” It will just be me writing about this lifestyle change. That’s it. I’m
not doing it for attention (HA! As if I EVER do anything for attention!) or to
be on TV (no thanks!). It will just be to write a book about the whole year-long
experience. If people are inspired by it and if it helps them to change their
life for the better, then that would be really awesome. But that won’t be why I’ll
be writing that book.
And for the record, I’m still going to be an introvert
and a private person and taking on that whole “lone wolf” thing. But I’ll just
be living life a little bit differently! This second book will be that
transformation.
Labels: addiction, adversity, anxiety, books, experience, panic attacks, writing
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