Dawn Colclasure's Blog

Author and poet Dawn Colclasure

Friday, April 17, 2009

Kicking a writer while she is down

This week, I received some distressing news from a family member. I am not up to going into details on any of my blogs about this family crisis going on, but I will just say it was news involving my father. I have been distressed about it and really upset. Trying to figure out what to do to help.

Meanwhile, though, I'm also trying to focus on the work I have to do. I am having a hard time with that, but I know the work helps me to stay out of dwelling over what is going on. (And, believe me, there IS definitely work for me to do. Which is a good thing. I don't want that to stop. Really, I don't. If I didn't have any work to do, I might spend my free time dwelling over this "bad thing" going on and just lose myself in being depressed over it. In other words, the work helps me keep my sanity as I go through this. That, and my faith.)

Even though I am cutting down on some Internet things until I am stronger, in a more positive mood and able to think more clearly, I do check my e-mail. My e-mail account is what brings the work to me! But also, my family communicates with me via e-mail, since I don't yet have a TTY. Well, one e-mail I received yesterday was from a literary agent who I queried for my MG series. Unfortunately, it was a rejection. Sigh.

But the thing is, I'm not so stung by the rejection. I mean, you know, I'm pretty much used to getting them. It doesn't hurt to receive them. It's like, "Oh, well. Moving on!" I know the right agent will come along when the time is right. And I know the right agent for me is out there...SOMEWHERE. This agent just wasn't the one.

Still, I had to really wonder over how I got this rejection during this hard time. It's like Life decided to punch me in the gut with this thing about my dad, and decided to throw in a rejection for good measure. (Ha, that's almost comical.) I know rejections can come at any time. The rejecting editor or agent doesn't know what the writer is going through right now. And we can't expect them to know, either.

I am beginning to think that maybe I should not open any e-mails from agents, not until I can feel strong enough to deal with one other bad thing. Right now, I am just too fragile to handle other negative things. The rejection may not have stung, but it is still one other bad thing to take in. I really would have liked to have gotten an acceptance from somewhere for some project or another. Like I mumbled to myself this morning after my prayer, "I could REALLY use some good news right now." So maybe I should not open those e-mails just yet. I know I might pass on an e-mail that actually does have good news, but I just can't handle another negative thing right now.

Not just yet.

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2 Comments:

  • At 4:42 PM , Blogger Nancy said...

    I can relate...its hard to keep opening distressing emails and/or letters. But just hang on to them until you feel better and do open them because you never know, it could be an acceptance right? :-)
    I hope you get better news about your father soon.

     
  • At 8:45 AM , Blogger Dawn Colclasure said...

    Thank you, Nancy. :)

     

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