Dawn Colclasure's Blog

Author and poet Dawn Colclasure

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I never crossed any finish lines

I have just realized something about all the writing work I have been doing for 5+ years now: I don't keep going with one kind of writing until I cross the finish line. What I mean by this is that I will do something like freelance writing, go at it for a while, then decide to throw in the towel before I ever really achieve the pinnacle of that kind of writing. I didn't keep at the freelancing until I got to the top, which would be getting articles into the major magazines. I only got them into lower-level magazines. I am still proud of those articles and accomplishments, but I didn't go all the way with freelance writing. I moved from freelancing to newspaper-writing. And from newspaper-writing, I went to writing books. That's it. I never reached my full potential with any of those ventures. I didn't keep at it until I reached my goal.

I just got distracted with something else. Moved on to something else.

This is why I want to get back into freelance writing. Sort of pick up where I left off and finish that race. I did try getting back into it earlier this year, but I was having email problems and STOPPED sending queries out. Now that I've got that email problem resolved, I think I should continue with trying to get that goal accomplished.

What helped me realize this fact? This morning, I was doing research on scriptwriting. This research is for my WIP. I am having trouble writing the section about scriptwriting, and I know that part of that trouble stems from my lack of experience with scriptwriting. Between trying to figure out how to effectively write that part of my book in a way that I am able to write it and playing with the idea of getting more involved in scriptwriting, I had to ask myself why I would want to shift gears from writing books to writing scripts when I haven't yet made a name for myself in the book world.

That's when it dawned on me. (And, yes, I DO use my own name as a word. Ha!) I haven't made a name for myself with freelance writing. Ditto with newspaper-writing. Why on earth would I shift gears before reaching the pinnacle of what I am doing now?

Then the realization hit. This is something I have, unfortunately, had the habit of doing all this time. I shifted gears without even crossing the finish line. I never kept going until I got as high as I could get.

Knowing this has made me feel a little disheartened. Why did I do that? How could I have a habit like that if I want a successful writing career and garner respect among my peers? That certainly is not one way to do it. I realize that this habit made me look bad as a writer. Maybe even unprofessional. But at least now I know that I have done this. Now I can retrace my steps, pick up where I left off with everything, and continue. I will continue on those paths until I get to the very end. Until I reach that pinnacle and achieve the goals I originally set out to achieve.

This doesn't mean I'll stop writing books, of course. I'll ALWAYS be writing books! :) But it just means there will be extra things thrown into that mix, because writing books is not the only thing I want my writing to be known for.

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