Living with mediocre success
And it IS what I love to do. I'm not in this for the money, if there is that. Sure there are people telling you they know how you can make $40,000 a year writing. Or even $1,000+ a month writing. And that's all well and good.
But that's not me. I don't write for the money. I write because it's what I love to do. I'll write til the day I can't write anymore. And probably in the afterlife, I'll STILL be writing!
This kind of talk may seem "bad" to some people, especially those dead set on selling a bazillion copies of their books or who think this kind of talk is poisonous thinking to young talented minds. But it's how I feel.
I don't write because I want to be famous. I don't write because I want to make a ton of money from it. And I certainly DON'T write to one-up someone or get all the attention.
I write for the love of writing. And if that means I won't be famous, I won't sell a thousand copies of every single book, and my name won't be a "household word," that's okay. I am at least grateful that my writing is good enough to get into print.
I can't ask for anything more. And, really, I don't.
All the same, other authors make it seem like it's BAD to be "okay" with mediocre success. It's like if you're books aren't selling very well (and mine aren't exactly flying off the shelves), then you're not anybody important. You're not anybody special. "So you got a book published. Yay for you. I'm not seeing it at Borders and you've only sold 7 copies after getting it published 3 years ago."
Of course, I realize there are ways to change this level of success. There are things I could do, people I could call, articles I could send out into the world, talks and appearances I could make. Etc, etc. But there's NO WAY I'm going to step into something that calls for being chained to a computer or that means hours on the phone, composing emails and hunting down new promo oppurtunities. No, that's not me. I'll do signings, sure. Participate on a panel? Sign me up! But anything that calls for "obsessive PR" work, forget it. That's not me.
And some may say, "Well, you're just lazy. That's WHY you're not a successful author." They can say whatever they want to say or think whatever they want to think. I know the truth, and that's enough to help me sleep at night.
Sure, I can get disheartened over this. Sure I can get upset that I write books nobody wants. But, that's not going to happen. That would only take away why I REALLY do this in the first place: For the love of it. Besides, that kind of attitude right there is the REAL kind of poisonous thinking you need to watch out for. ;)