Several irons in the fire

On the day after I turned 43 years old last week, I woke up with this thought: “This (thing) needs to happen.” I pretty much realized that an idea for something I have been kicking around for years must become a reality. Yes, it MUST happen. This thing must exist. It must be in place.

But then I started to think more on that later in the day. This type of thing has not been profitable in the very small way that I have tried to make it happen in real life so far. I tested it in small doses and there really wasn’t any demand for these products. Even though they were well-received by some people, they just didn’t sell. So when I do officially “launch” this venture, I decided that I really can’t rely on it to bring in any kind of income or to make any profit. I might figure out a way to make it profitable in the future – after all, technology is constantly changing and trends are changing right along with it – but right now it’s not something I can throw myself into with the goal of it being a financial success.

It will have to exist as something that I WANT to have out there. Just like I do with my books.

There is also the fact that I want to focus a majority of my energies on something that DOES make a profit. I really do need to make that happen, because of some unfortunate circumstances in life that demand I bring in an extra source of income. The annuity I receive each month is no longer sufficient so I need to upgrade my financial situation. So I do need to to think of what could be profitable and actually “work” to focus my energies on. The hard thing is that I really can’t figure out what that is. Not yet. I have been racking my brain trying to think of something else but nothing has come out of that yet.

Writing is all that I know. It’s all that I do. And it’s all that I am. Trying to add “something else” to that mix is not easy.

It would seem that my passions are not profitable. And you know what? That’s okay. I have decided that it’s FINE to continue to pursue my passions even if they are not profitable. I have always been the kind of person to wear many hats in my different lines of work. So why not have several irons in the fire? Write books, submit short stories, publish books, design clothes, write scripts and pursue craft projects. Even if none of those things sell. Even if none of those things work. Do them anyway.

I have realized that it’s okay to allow for these things to be in place. Just as it’s okay for me to indulge in reading books or stargazing or exploring roads not travelled. Those are things that I like to do. These are things that I like to create. So why deny myself them? Just as I allow for time to read every day, I need to allow myself time to write every day. Both are my passions, and I think it’s important to pursue your passions. And everybody in my family knows just how grumpy and agitated I get if I’m not writing!

But even as I will allow them to be in my life again, I just can’t let those things take up the bulk of my time. As I said, I DO need to focus on what helps income-wise. And I will continue the job hunt. But I know I can make room for these other things, too. It’s just a matter of setting aside that time for them. They ARE important to me, so I will find a way to keep them in my life somehow.

I actually spent some time today figuring out how to squeeze in the time for them and I think this schedule will be doable – at least until the school year ends. After the school year is over, I have to switch to ANOTHER schedule on account of my oldest working and me driving an hour commute there and back Monday through Friday for that purpose. But this temporary schedule might be a good fit for now. I will try it out and see where that goes.